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Blindsided by Love: Why Marriage Needs More Than Just "Figuring It Out"




We spend years in school, accumulating knowledge for future success. We constantly seek out information to excel in our careers. But when it comes to love and marriage, the most important partnership of our lives, there's a surprising gap in how we approach it.

Many of us enter marriage with the naive belief that "it will figure itself out." We think that somehow, magically, everything will fall into place. But what if I told you that marriage isn't a puzzle to be solved? There are no hidden pieces, and "winging it" is a recipe for disaster.

This was my mistake.


Blinded by the traditional perspective of masculinity, I believed I should just figure it out on my own. The result? A failed marriage.... It took humbling myself and facing the truth to realize that love needs a foundation of knowledge and work.

Here's why "figuring it out" simply won't do:

  • Marriage requires understanding communication, finances, intimacy, and navigating ever-changing roles.

  • Love is a verb: It's not just a feeling. It's about consistent effort, investment, and learning your partner

  • Healthy marriages are built on knowledge: There are proven techniques and tools for communication, conflict resolution, and building a strong emotional connection.

So, what's the alternative?

  • Embrace education: Read books, take courses, and seek guidance from therapists or mentors.

  • Invest in communication: Learn to truly listen and express yourself openly and honestly.

  • Prioritize knowledge over ego: Let go of the idea that you have to go it alone.

Marriage is a lifelong journey, and like any journey, it requires a roadmap. Don't be afraid to seek out the knowledge and tools you need to create a happy, fulfilling partnership.

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